Jersey Tomatas

Close one!

2011-10-05T18:39:00.002-04:00

So yeah... I get myself into situations that defy any logical behavior of a seemingly bright adult.

I have set my kitchen on fire and recently flooded the downstairs apartment. Today was no different.

Except for one thing... I became aware of this personality defect of mine and decided to stop, drop, and roll. So to speak.

A few weeks ago at a thrift shop.... I know... Hard to believe I was in a thrift shop.... I came upon one of those rubbery floppy thingies you can bake in. It was a Bundt Cake floppy thingy. I LOVE BUNDT CAKE !!

So today while making a butter pecan cake with coconut icing.. Cos my ass isn't big enough... I ready my Bundt Pan... Pour in the batter...

Oven preheated to 350...
Oven door opened....
Wait.... Stop a second....

I bring the Bundt cake thingy over to the table for more light....
I'm looking everywhere. AND BINGO! Right there under the lip it says do not store anywhere over 200 degrees..
BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING JELLO MOLD,!!!!

What that plastic based oven fire would have wreaked in my life I have no idea. But the amount of adrenalin that dumped into my system was exhilarating!

Mensa, Mensa, Mensa

2010-11-05T15:42:00.000-04:00

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

For those of you on the fence on November 2nd.

2010-11-02T11:27:00.004-04:00

What President Obama has accomplished thus far.

Averted a 1930's era Depression or worse with Bank Bailouts and Car Industry Bailouts
Minimized potential environmental disaster due to the Oil Spill on the Gulf Coastline
Passed the "largest" economic stimulus bill in American history.
Ordered the closing of Guantanamo Bay military detention facility and abolishing "enhanced interrogation techniques."
Setting a fixed timetable for withdrawing U.S. combat forces from Iraq.
Ordered 21,000 additional troops to Afghanistan and enlisting, with modest new assistance, European allies in a new multi-layered strategy there and in Pakistan, and setting a timetable for a drawdown of our troops.
"Returning science to its rightful place" by lifting the Bush restrictions on federally funded embryonic stem cell research.
Signing laws to expand children's health insurance (financed by a 61-cent per pack increase in the federal cigarette tax the adviser did not tout).
Signing a law meant to improve the ability of women who allege pay discrimination to sue their employer.
Lifting travel and remittance restrictions for Cuban Americans who seek to travel more frequently to the island and send more US currency to their immediate family.
Appointed the first Latina to the US Supreme Court
signed a law supporting increased financial aid to severely injured war veterans, and their caretakers.
Banned offshore drilling until parameters for deep well safety procedures are clarified.
Put a hold on Artic oil exploratory digging until environmental impacts are clear.
Passed health care reform.
signed a hate crime bill .
He also made the tabaco industry accountable to the FDA . And those guys take no BS. (hopefully!)

Titleless

2010-09-14T22:51:00.001-04:00

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " - Bob Marley

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Disenchantment

2010-06-16T13:54:00.001-04:00

I saw this message “I love my job I love my job I love my job I love my job..." on someone's Twitter. It sounded like they were trying to convince themselves.
I thought about it for a second and asked myself, “What did I like about my job?” The easy answer to that question is I loved ALMOST everything about it. Yes “almost”…not all the things… And I bet the past tense wasn't lost on you...
The thing is, I loved being busy. My job is not the most glamorous, besides dealing with over sold flights, irate passangers, silver members with an odd sense of entitlement, and crews that seriously believe they are a band of traveling super heros, all the new happenings here in the station keep us pretty busy. Everyday something changes,new managers, new supervisors, new rules, new training, the list goes on and on and as always, the deadline was yesterday. I seemed to thrive on the chaos.

There are a few things I love about my job. ( present tense). I love our planes... They're huge, sleek, lumbering bohemoths that promise excitement and adventure.
I love working with the smart people... (especially with people smarter than me). l love traveling and I love being able to solve problems for people.
There are some things I hate about my job. The top two being politics and inconsistancy. I hate playing the politics game. But sometimes it’s inevitable, like it or not, we just have to play it. Simply because getting a politics-free job may be damn near impossible.
I used to hate the union. Especially the union mentality. The "It's not my job " philosophy. I always believed you should try to be the best you could be at your job. Get all the training available. Advance. Go "Above and Beyond" ... Yeah......right.
When your imediate supervisors treat information like power they protect and horde and treat training like treats to be given out as rewards for being agreeable to their bent work ethic it makes it very hard to be enthusiastic...
" If I keep banging my head against this wall maybe I'll be able to take the class I keep asking to go to".
Well now I have a fucking head ache.
So when the game is being played, I'll try to steer away from it. I'll stop going above and beyond. I'll stop trying. I'll stop caring. I'll stop volunteering to do extra things because I think it will make me a more valuable employee. I'll be a union member. I don't have to be valuable. I just have to show up.

Ponderings

2010-04-12T13:21:00.001-04:00

In conversations with others lately, the topic of regrets has come up. While the remarks seem innocuous at times, I often question the real thoughts behind them.
It is the simple things like "I wish I had gone to this college instead of this one." or "I wish I had known that when I was younger, then I wouldn't have made that mistake." Sometimes they are bigger, "I wish I wouldn't have married this person, taken this job, moved to this place..."
While I have had some of these thoughts myself, I’m not the type to dwell on them. It seems, sometimes however, that often the people around me really feel terrible about their mistakes and truly wish they could undo them.
Maybe I've read too many quotes on not living in the past, or am retardedly optimistic in my life, but I can't do that.
Yes, I do see the importance of reflecting on things from our past, making sense of them as we are able, and taking the necessary {and in my case often painful!} lessons from them. However, I do not live in regret of them.
Have I made some big mistakes? Yes. {Oh yes!} Have I learned invaluable lessons from them? Yes, and still am. There are some I may question to my grave, although I will never regret them.
I am unable to do that. Sometimes, when I tell people this, they react like I am strange, or in denial. I guess I am just not wired that way.
I see the winding trail of our lives, and how each event shapes and molds the rest. To have missed one bad thing, to avoid one mistake, I would almost certainly miss several wonderful events as well. Even in the things I struggle with today, and am this close to blogging about, I do not regret. Do I hate it? Oh yes, every single second. I feel though, that at the end of the road, I will be stronger, healthier and take valuable lessons from it.
I have to look at the beauty life gives us as we head to the future. Rather than look to the past, and think that things could be different now if I'd made better choices, I have to look at what choices I can make today that will lead to a better tomorrow. After all, I have no control over the past, but I can shape my future.
It’s on the mornings of introspection that I realize why I love cities so much… The Noise.. Chaos.. Confusion…Lights… They cloak me.. Cover me, and protect me and make it easier for me to disappear. So yeah…. Its that kind of day..

You Try It!!! Ha !!!

2010-03-03T10:46:00.002-05:00

Do you think that Kurt Cobain is rolling over in his grave?
This is about as UNGAY a guy in a red neck shirt and podunk head band can get... Show some respect

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Is there anythingmore true than this?

2010-01-17T17:22:00.000-05:00

What does it matter?

2009-10-15T21:59:00.001-04:00

I have forgotten how much I like this song. It makes me want to get my Miata back and drive. For a long time. To the beach and boardwalk. And then walk. For a long time.

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Not my usual witty self.

2009-08-28T09:39:00.002-04:00

This is disturbing. Deeply disturbing. Please...please... make everyone you know who texts watch this. It's directed at teens but I know just as many adults that text while driving. It's not a teen thing. Nor is it a chick thing. It's a cell phone thing and we all have them. I was just as guilty as anyone. WAS.

When in Gainesville I made my daughter watch it. It scared her but she asked why I was showing her. I said so she sees what can happen when you text and drive. She said, and I quote " Mom, I don't even talk on the phone when I drive. And if you do you're an idiot." Sometimes I forget how much older she is then me.

This must have wormed it's way into my subconscious. It's 6:30 am. I'm in a hotel room blogging and I don't even have to be up for another 2 hours. Christ...
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John McCain Tweets !!

2009-08-24T11:11:00.004-04:00

I love twitter. I have a few followers and I follow a few. One person I follow is Rachel Maddow. She's brilliant,witty, and sardonic. Sardonic in a good way. She's on MSNBC.

Anyway...... in a recent post she refrenced McCain's tweet. I checked it out. Here's what it said....

"""" Late evening with Col. Qadhafi at his "ranch" in Libya - interesting meeting with an interesting man."""" 2:42 PM Aug 15th from web
Here's the link to his Twitter... http://twitter.com/SenJohnMcCain

A couple of weeks later the Lockerbee Bomber is released from a Scottish prison and sent back to Libya. Coincidence? I think not.

This couldn'y be more true...

2009-08-24T10:37:00.002-04:00

Night Sweats

2009-08-24T10:00:00.007-04:00

I had a terrible dream last night. I even woke up crying. I feel uneasy and tried and like something is terribly wrong and all because of some stupid dream ... why is that?

I can understand why i am tired, it is the other things I don't get.
It should be called emotion residue. Residue is the perfect word for it. It depicts something sticky, nasty, and unwanted. Something you have to work on getting rid off.

The bad dream sets an emotional tone that is hard to shake off even after you wake up. It's like an ache that fades slowly.

When I have a "nightmare" , which is seldom, I can usually shake them off pretty easily. Seriously.... Shakin off a dream about my poodle growing another head, speaking Latin and eating a neighbor's kid is a peice of cake.

It's the "Bad Dreams" that get me. The ones that are about people you know. Or love. The dreams about sickness, heartache, or lose. The ones that could very easily be real. Those are the ones that keep me somewhat mystified for hours...

Let it go? Treat it as a portent? Letting it go is hard. Treating it as a portent is harder.. and slightly neurotic. Decision made. I'm lettin' it go.

From The Bull

2009-05-23T18:38:00.001-04:00

You know who I mean..........

I am a sheep.

2009-04-20T10:10:00.003-04:00

On The Daily Show the other day Jon Stewart referred to Muppet Scat. He giggled. He told us all to google it as we would encounter weird pictures. He even suggested we pause live TV and he would wait to resume the show until after said googling.

I thought it would be someones odd site about Muppet feces or some other such crap. ( pun very intended ) I didn't come up with much. But I did come across this. It made me smile and think of my daughter. This is for her.

See? Sometimes being a sheep pays off !!!!

Go Michelle !

2009-04-18T08:54:00.003-04:00

:::: SOB ::::

2009-04-13T21:49:00.007-04:00

Why does stuff like this make me cry? Is it because a seemingly nondescript women surprises everyone with her talent, tenacity, and passion? Is it because I invariably root for the underdog? I don't know.
I do know this... I would make a deal with the devil to be able to rip one out like this women....

I love my car.

2009-04-13T21:00:00.003-04:00

OK. People have way too much time on their hands...

So I'm on line perusing blogs and wondering if anyone else has been smitten by a used car recently purchased. I came across some very weird things indeed. Apparently people blog about making love IN a car, how to make love TO your car..( yes, the biblical sense) And why you should never make love on a car that's not yours. As if that even needed explaining!!
Suffice it to say that today was spent with my favorite mechanic. Tim from Pit Stop in Cary. On Maynard. Damn that guy is good. He must be good... 479.80 .. timing belt... rear breaks.... freon for the AC. And I still didn't think it was enough. Stereo is next. With a rag top replacement.
Time to sign up for more overtime...

For those who were wondering about making love on a car that's not yours... You know who you are....

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Mental Floss

2009-04-07T14:32:00.004-04:00

So......... I did a crazy ass thing. I went along with buying a very small ( 2 seater ) White Mazda Miata MX-5 .
Albeit... it cost us nothing as Gene sold his truck and that's where the cash is coming from. At first I figured... This is cool. I'll drive this down to Gainesville. Haleigh will see it. Want it. Bad. And I'll have my CRV back. Then I drove it around the very nice neighborhood in which these people reside and had a blast. The sun on my shoulders. The wind in my hair. The wind whispering in my ear.. " You're having a midlife crisis schmuck."
What does a female midlife crisis look like, anyway? A big face-lift, a little white sport car, prescription abuse, an escape to the beaches of Barcelona? Or none of the above?
The very word "crisis", while very, very dramatic, seems somehow wrong for my generation's experience. Unlike our mothers and unlike the men in our lives, women are creating a new model for what midlife might look like.
Researchers have found that the most profound difference in attitude between men and women at middle age is that we are twice as likely to be hopeful about the future. We get to wrestle our hormones through "The Freakin Change", but however disruptive "The Freakin Change" may be for some us, the changes that matter most are often more psychic and spiritual than physical. Talk to us about what happens when we hit midlife hurdles--whether divorce or disease, an empty nest, the loss of a parent--and usually the response is a surprise even to us. We usually turn reflective, ask the cosmic questions or remember some passion we put aside to make room for a career and family and adult responsibilities. We may take a trip. Write a novel. Go back to school. Learn to ice skate. But, having done something to help ourselves, sometimes we have a powerful urge to help others. Best of all is when we can do both at once.
So I have embraced the changes in my life. I have jumped into the water. I fought it. But I jumped. I am floating and bobbing in the shallow end for now. Giggling and grinning. Although I know the water in the other end is deeper, and warmer, it's still a little scary. Will I drown?
I think I have spent entirely too much time reading blogs about aging today. So what's next on my agenda?
I need to buy a very chic scarf and a pair of to die for Sofia Loren sunglasses. I also need to become very glamorous. One cannot drive a convertible sports car with at least TRYING to pull off the glamorous thing.

PS.. I have named the MX-5 Gilda. Cool huh?

wow

2009-03-05T22:53:00.001-05:00

This is the company I work for. These are the people I work with.

>

My thoughts exactly!!!

2009-02-21T22:42:00.001-05:00

The weekend.......

2009-02-10T11:46:00.002-05:00

I flew down to Gainesville Fla. to spend the weekend with my daughter. She attends the Santa Fe Teaching Zoo there where she's working on her degree in zoology/biology.
We had a blast..
She gave us a tour of the zoo. Perfect in her Zoologist Tour Guide Persona.
She cooked Pasta Fazul. Perfect in her "Hey! I got this... " Jersey girl tude.
She baked a cake. From scratch. Strawberry icing. From Scratch. Amazing...

On Saturday we went to the flea market where she likes to buy fresh produce dirt cheap. No pun intended. We went meandering. We laughed. We went into a tent called "Redneck" something or other. We thought it would be a tent full of confederate flags and beer logo belt buckles. It was a tent full of the most horrific clan crap I have ever seen.
Unbelievable.
We got out of there as fast as we could and decided we all needed showers. A feeling of being violated was the only way you could describe how one felt after seeing that shit. I can't believe people really buy that stuff!!!

Anyways.... lol. Yes... I pluraled that....

What a wonderful relaxing weekend. The weather was perfect. The company was perfect. The zoo was incredible.

It's such a joy to see your child grow into a person that you respect and admire. One minute I was watching her dance around to Bon Jovi while puttering around in the kitchen. I looked away.. Then looked back... and there was a women standing there. Just like that. She's a women. I still can't swallow the lump in my throat.

Cocoon

2009-02-03T23:10:00.002-05:00

This cocoon, caught in vesuvius' shadow
only the ashes remain
and i waited there for you
why couldn't you?
here we lie waiting for something to startle
to shake us from gravity's pull
and so sleeping hours are through
what can we do?

My daughter.....

2008-11-18T20:19:00.002-05:00

She did this. I love the hell out of her. She made this from parts of her favorite movies. With a nod to one of mine.
She's brilliant. She gets that from me. She hot headed. She gets that from me too......

Sarah Palin... Sweet Jesus save us.

2008-11-10T19:01:00.003-05:00

The governor of Alaska spent some time in her kitchen this weekend makin’ moose chili and moose hot dogs. Then she sat down with a local reporter and blabbed out a series of words that were mostly English but made zero sense. We will miss her, sort of! She said that no Republican could have won this election, because George Bush has spent the last eight years figuratively standing on the balcony of the nightclub of the Republican brand and drunkenly pissing on the heads of people like Sarah Palin.

At least, that appears to be what she was attempting to imply. It is sort of hard to tell, given Palin’s refusal to OH USE SUBJECTS AND OBJECTS AND VERBS:

""""I think the Republican ticket represented too much of the status quo, too much of what had gone on in these last eight years, that Americans were kind of shaking their heads like going, wait a minute, how did we run up a 10 trillion dollar debt in a Republican administration? How have there been blunders with war strategy under a Republican administration? If we’re talking change, we want to get far away from what it was that the present administration represented and that is to a great degree what the Republican Party at the time had been representing. So people desiring change I think went as far from the administration that is presently seated as they could. It’s amazing that we did as well as we did.""""

Oh Jesus. This women claims to be a patriot. How can she be a patriot and feel she's qualified to be VP? How can she seriously think it's OK to have Joe Six Pack or a Hockey mom in the White House? Wouldn't a patriot want to have the best and brightest in that position? I do. I don't want me in the white house. Sheeesh

A women that I work with came to Palin's defense saying that Palin obviously thought SHE WAS qualified to be VP. I said " Well then, she's stupid too. Either way we're saved from being screwed........... whew.

Yes We Did !!!

2008-11-05T09:43:00.010-05:00

The sentiments I am feeling, and those I am sensing from around the world, are very much like what was felt immediately post-9/11. There is so much good will and promise being sent to America. The biggest difference between then and now is that we will be gaining a President of real hope with the promise of real change, which is a far cry than what we had with Bush. I had Zero faith in Bush. I have 100% faith in Obama.

Once again I am extremely proud to be an American !!! I haven't felt that for quite a long time.

I am so happy for us as a nation. I am so happy that we are finally a nation of the world and not a nation that thinks we ARE the world. I am especially happy for the children of this country. FINALLY... a world of optimism and hope for them to thrive in.

From Australia"

Thank you America
In Australia, the results starting coming in at 11am, with the west coast - and Obama's win - confirmed at 3pm. I spent most of my working day on the internet watching the results come in, followed by champagne after the result was beyond doubt.
I don't think most Americans understand how much the rest of the world needed an Obama win. I am unbelievably happy and relieved that the majority of voting Americans did the right thing, I am now far too inebriated to continue...

From Israel:
I forgot to add that it'll be wonderful to have 2 mensches in the West Wing. Now there's a miracle!

From Great Britain

Greetings and congratulations from Great Britain! Me and my friends (and most of the world) have been watching this election very closely hoping Obama would win and you, the American people have made that happen! I finally feel as though we can look at the U.S.A. as a moral world leader again.

Here's to Change!

Here are some pictures from around the world as the results came in.

Shanghia..Indonesia..France..London..Japan..Senegal..India..
Australia..India..Israel..Kenya.. Philippines

ONE MORE THING.....

I forgot to add that it is now 10:36 am on Nov. 5th. As you can see by the electoral map below... North Carolina is still undecided. I blame Steve Green. He didn't vote. TSK TSK

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2008-11-04T22:11:00.003-05:00

Halloween is my birthday. Well, it's actually Mischief Night but hardly anyone knows what that is and everyone knows when Halloween is. So there ya go....
I worked on my birthday. And had one of the best birthdays ever. I was surrounded by well wishes.. fun ... humor... and ....
Thank you friends, family and loved ones. A smile is still tickling my face.

This is Danielle. She's TPing my car and wrapping it in crime scene tape. It was hysterical.

Yes We Can.....

2008-10-30T12:00:00.002-04:00

Ok people... Seriously..... Vote.... Do your homework. Research. Take resposibilty. Look at the whole picture.
This man has a once in a generation intellect. A presidential temperment, and a back bone made from steele. So can we please, please try and NOT fuck this up? I'm just saying.........

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A WTF day

2008-10-21T23:34:00.002-04:00

So I thought it was going to be a good day. Turned out... not so much. So I did what I often do with a not so good day. I cook something I shouldn't eat and scrub the hell out of my bathroom. Weird uh? Why is it that when I get twisted up I scrub? Well looking on the bright side I guess it beats chain smoking or being a boozer.
Although if I was a bit boozy right now I'll bet this damn blog would be WAY more interesting.
So I decide to youtube The Daily Show and Lewis Black. I love Lewis Black. Here's some Lou. Yeah... we're on a first name basis.....">

Moon Lake

2007-09-15T14:34:00.000-04:00

Is this really my job?

2007-07-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

I love this job.
Wednesday of this week I was scheduled in at 1pm. So a friend and I took the 7:30am out of here to DC and walked to Georgetown. While there we stopped at a few funky stores and ate at a wonderful French Bistro called la Madeleine. What a treat! The quality of the food and the attention to detail in the decor would make you believe it was a small family run restaurant. But it's a chain! If you see one stop in. Order the omelet and the chocolate almond croissant. You'll die happy.
But the coolest thing was I left home with 20 bucks that morning and came back with 4 dollars. It's still hard for me to believe I fly free. DC and back... a great brunch...wonderful company ... all for 16 dollars? It makes me feel like someone is going to wake up and put a stop to this madness....
I hope I can get to Barcelona first though....

I have marketable skills!!

2007-07-22T11:23:00.000-04:00

Yes indeedy people, I have gone and gotten myself a job. It would seem there are some people in this world who think it's actually ok for me to deal with the general public. Despite the misgivings of family and friends. They bring out the beast in me anyway. I'm a lot nicer to complete strangers.
Hmmmmm.... that doesn't seem right does it?

So I have become a CSA (Costumer Service Agent) for an airline. The airline itself will remain nameless. I have googled airline employee blogs and some have been fired for their remarks and photos. Albeit, their remarks were inflammatory and their pictures were scandalous. Whereas my remarks will be benign to the point of stupor inducing. And in order for me to post a scandalous picture it would have to be of someone else.I'm well past my Bunny days so I'm afraid if I tried to pull of "scandalous" it would be viewed as "comical" Oh come on girls! You know what happens after 45. Do I need to draw you a picture?
So I will name no names nor post pics. This stuff is on a need to know basis. And if you know and you don't need to know I will have Mr. Bubbles from Lilo and Stitch show up at your house and pop a cap in yer arse.

Here's the only picture I will post of my training. I'm the women in the second window. You can tell it's me because the perm from hell still hasn't grown completely out. Then there's Ron. Being his effervescent self. Then Brook. She had the straightest hair. We were never told who flew the plain. Again.... Mr.Bubbles.

But what I will say is we were all flown to Phoenix. Arizona. Where they keep the HOT. Really freakin HOT! I can't believe people actually choose to live there. Of there their own free will no less. Sheeesh. And the training center had stainless steel door knobs on all the exterior doors. That's right. Exterior. Do you have any idea how hot stainless steal becomes after sitting in 115 degree heat all day? You would think someone would tell them. It's not rocket science. But I figured it out. It's their way of branding us NoName Air employees. Forget badges. Just hold up your right hand like Mr.Spock. They see the scar and admit you to the sterile zone.
Once you've been to Phoenix, any belief you had in "Intelligent Design" goes right out the window.

The only other thing I'm allowed to talk about is the weather. I have experienced my first sand storm. Like something right out of a movie. Freaky,freaky stuff. I'm a Jersey girl. Give me a hurricane or a nor'easter and I know how to act. BUT when a Jersey girl goes into a Super WalMart during bright sun and soul sucking heat and comes out into a sand storm .... with no warning of said sand storm ... it's gets ugly. Picture if you will... shopping, shopping, shopping. La la la la la . Oh! It's hot. I should get an extra large ice cream cone to eat while I wait outside for the shuttle. Yummmm
I walk outside. BLOODY HELL!!!! To others it would have looked like a crazy women sputtering, twitching, flinging ice cream, cursing in her best Jersey girl vernacular. And spinning her cart around while simultaneously trying to get back inside and crawl into her shirt. Probably not very pretty but even I was laughing by the time I got back inside.
I love storms. Now I have experienced a sand storm. I thought it was pretty cool by the time it was over.

Happy Independence Day !!

2007-07-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

Another kind of Independence Day.

My step-son. Nick. Our "problem child". Has found his way. He's happy, healthy, and optomistic. I can't put into words how happy it makes us to know that he is becoming the man we knew he could be. Special thanks to the woman in his world, Jess. We love you guys more then you know.
This video is from him... Thank you Nick.

Coincidence? You decide...

2007-07-02T09:46:00.001-04:00

While having a disagreement as to the definition of the word
" misogynist" I of course had to Dictionary.com it. The page came up with the definition and on the bottom an ad too... and I quote .... "Stop Kennedy & McCain " I kid you not.

Ya can't make this shit up people. Click on the image to enlarge.

For those in need ( and I'm not pointing any fingers but you know who you are )

Misogyny (IPA: /mɪˈsɒʤəni/) is hatred or strong prejudice against women. The word comes from the Greek words μίσος (misos, "hatred") + γυνη (gunê, "woman"). Although misogyny is sometimes confused with misanthropy, the terms are not interchangeable, for the latter refers more generally to the hatred of humanity. A concept related to misogyny is gynophobia, the fear of women, but not necessarily hatred of them. The opposite of misogyny is philogyny, the love of women. Compared with anti-woman sexism or misandry (hatred, strong prejudice against men), misogyny is termed by most feminist theories as a political ideology like racism and antisemitism that justifies and maintains the subordination of women to men.

Women Bloggers

2007-06-30T18:24:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been reading the blogs of some older women. They're in their 70's and 80's and beyond. They call themselves "Elder Bloggers." They are truly an inspiration to me. These women have so much to share.
I love men. Really, don't get me wrong. But doesn't it seem to you that when you talk to someone of that age it's always the women who seem to have... I dunno... more layers? Is that a good way to describe it?
They talk about emotions. And their children. And their relationships. And they do it with love, sorrow, joy, humor, and sadness. I think ya just get more with women. We're more willing to put ourselves out there. Although I have read a few blogs by some older gentlemen that seem to be in touch with their feminine side. It's always the women bloggers that leave me with something when I log off at night.
It might be a lump in my throat for a love lost or a child taken too early. Or it might be a giggle over a dirty joke told in Yiddish. But it's always something...See for yourself.

Golden Lucy

Old Lady Of The Hills

Yiddish Class

My Mom's blog

Spiders on drugs.

2007-06-30T10:42:00.000-04:00

Wabbit Wabbit !!

2007-06-28T17:58:00.000-04:00

There's a pet store in this little town of ours. Its called Aardvarks To Zebra. Hmmmm I seriously doubt it. BUT ... I go in a while ago. With my daughter and niece. 19 and 17 . We're looking around and the girls see a plastic wading pool full of rabbits. One of which has a weird back leg. It kinda sticks out at a funny angle. So I say to this guy...

me: Ya know that this little grey guy over here has a funny back leg?

him: Yeah... someone dropped it off at my door last night in a box. That legs looks like an old break. I found him this morning when I opened.

me: Poor little guy..........

him: ( sensing an opportunity) Yep.. he's free. If I can't find him a home today I'm giving him to the snake.

me: ( gulp ) ( I look at the girls. They're horrified ) Yer freakin kiddin' me right?

him: No.. seriously. I can't afford to keep him here.

me: How much can a rabbit eat? Honestly... its a freakin rabbit!!

I didn't hear anything after that as I had two teenage girls wrapping themselves around my head. I couldn't hear anything at all. Or say anything. Or breath.

I honest to God think I passed out. Cos when I came to there was a cage, food and a rabbit in my car!!

Well that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. His name is Snake Food.

Sweet Jesus!!

2007-06-26T20:20:00.000-04:00

I understand this has been around the net a few times. How in the world have I missed it? For those of you who have seen it before ... sit through it again. Way worth it just for the goose bump factor...

>

Whew .. I'm glad THAT'S over.

2007-06-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

This is Jackson. My poodle. I don't know the little girl. But isn't she a cutie?

Friday night Jackson started vomiting. Sat morning horrible diharia. I took him to the emergency hospital in Durham and he was admitted with parvo. He was on very shakey ground all Sat and Sun and overnight into Monday morning. I picked him up early Monday and he finished his treatment up at our own vets here in Oxford. Right now he is laying at the foot of my bed being hand fed roasted chicken and drinking lots of water. And being a brat lol
My vet said that although it is rare sometimes dogs exposed to this horrible virus... even though vaccinated .. will get it.
72 hours and $800.00 later I have learned a lesson. Be VERY CAREFUL when it comes to strays. I'll still pick them up and try to save them... BUT ... instaed of bringing them into my home I'll bring them to a no kill shelter.

Bloody Hell !!

2007-06-19T21:39:00.000-04:00

Here is a picture of Gene and I. Our daughter took it at a family wedding last year. We are a handsome couple doncha think?
We have a pet lovebird named Buddha. Here he is.

Hubby is addicted to a show called "South Park" He laughs like hell every time they show the school bus driver on the show. I drove a school bus for 10 years. Here's a picture of Mrs. Crabtree from Southpark. Am I the only one that see the resemblance? SOB..... I'm freakin' Mrs Crabtree.

I have a new hero....

2007-06-17T16:17:00.000-04:00

Sunday morning and I'm checkin' out blogs. I usually stick with RVers blogs as I enjoy living vicariously through them. But on this special morning I got detoured via a link to the blog of this fine gentlmen. Really... check it out. Now I know where all the mensches went.

Here's an example of his insight and humor.... Did I mention he's 76?

So Long, Baldie
The government today announced that it is changing the country's emblem from a Bald-Headed Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It does not eat carrion. They got Cheney for that.

For those who need it:

[A] mensch is a someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being "a real mensch" is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous. (Rosten, Leo. 1968. The Joys of Yiddish. New York: Pocket Books. 237)

Introducing: The Mensch

Charlie's story

2007-06-16T15:35:00.000-04:00

About ten days ago I was driving my daughter to work. We were driving through an area that's known to have trained dog fights ( illegally of course) when we saw a puppy run across the road. Cute little guy. Maybe six or eight weeks old. It seemed to be a Shepard / Husky mix.

An area vet had told my cousin that she has seen animals come in that were in horrendous condition from fighting. The owners would say it got hit by a car. But the vet knows. She says people are stealing dogs and having puppies in order to train their fighting dogs. They just throw them into the pen with the fighting dogs and let whatever happens happen. It makes me physically sick.

So we brought the dog home and everything was great for a few days. The kids took over the dog and I began to doubt that the dog would ever walk again as it was always in someones arms being carried to and fro. Hither and yon. Did I just say hither and yon? How the hell old am I anyway? 150 at the very least.

So anyway... little love muffin Charlie got very sick on Wed night. When I got up on Thursday and saw him I knew something wasn't right. I thought he had consumed something somewhat poisonous by the way he was acting.. chocolate or a plant maybe.
Head hung low. Tail pointing straight to the floor. Tummy concave. No more fat puppy tummy. Staring a water but not drinking. Drooling. Sounds gastric right?

Off to the vets. Lab work. Parvo. Freakin Parvo. That's a real tough thing to treat. And he was sooo little. Because of my somewhat limited medical background the vet felt comfortable enough to let me treat him at home. I was giving him IV fluids, antibiotics and stomach settling medicine all night. He would only sleep if my hand was on him. If I took it off he would whimper. Poor little thing.

He got worse overnight. Much worse. He developed fluid in his lungs. Friday morning we had to let him go. I was exhausted so of course over emotional and a dripping leaky mess. I didn't know him well but he was a sweety..

Bye Charlie.........

My eyes! My eyes!

2007-06-16T15:30:00.000-04:00

This is burned into the back of my retinas. Honestly.. when I close my eyes this is what I see. It's gonna take a frontal lobotomy for me to get over this. Do ya think that's an elective procedure? But on a lighter note..... His mom must be so proud.

And sense we're on the subject of weirdness.... This is what you computer does while you're sleeping Icon wars

Finally Gone ..

2007-06-16T15:14:00.000-04:00

The fifth wheel was finally picked up by the new owners. A very nice couple that just bought a huge piece of land in the area and they plan to build and live in the fifth wheel till the house is done. And then they'll use it for recreation. Great people. A great new home for the RV. Isn't it funny how you become attached to things? Why anyone would want to build in this area is beyond me....

There was one guy that came and looked at her. He had hang over breath. He chained smoked in my yard and he told me " I don't much care about the inside. I's jest gonna use it fer huntin'"

I told him " Ya know.... I feel I should mention that the roof leaks and it has a terrible mildew problem. And I forgot to tell you hubby wants 5k more then I put it in the paper for"

Which loosely translates to "You can't buy my camper and get yer bad breath and stinky ass cigarettes off my property"

When the new owners came and got the RV they had a huge truck. I know Gene had some kind of truck envy. But it's gone and now we're researching used class A motorhomes.

Now all we have to do is sell this bohemoth of a house.....

Baby Birds

2007-04-21T10:21:00.000-04:00

It doesn't get much cuter then this does it?

The lovebirds have been at it again. Five babies this time. I have homes for three of them. Two are going to the parents of some friends of ours. They came over one evening and serviced all seven fire places. They said all they wanted was dinner so we cooked a nice meal and spent a lovely evening.

Meanwhile ... Buddha charmed the pants of them. For anyone not familiar with the story of Buddha here it is:

Husband caught with naked chick.

Buddha was something during dinner. Peeping and slamming his door up and down saying he wanted out. I let him out during desert and he was comical as usual. Stealing crumbs. Giving kisses. And trying to avoid capture at all costs. Linda and Chuck ( parents) fell in love and I asked if they wanted a pair. They were thrilled to say the least. So I put the nesting box back in and it was only about 5 minutes till the birds were gettin jiggy with it. LOL . I expected one or two. Possibly three. NOPE !! FIVE !! I doubt very much if I'll have a problem placing the other two. Anyone?

Here's a slideshow of the babies: Slideshow

Christmas Morning for Pudgy !!

2007-04-21T10:01:00.000-04:00

Wahoo.............................

Gene is soooo excited. He has signed up again for Living Fit in NJ. They'll ship the food here and he can do the program on line. He started already. Shakes and entrees. The last time he was on this he lost 97 pounds in four months. He'll feel so much better.

We're getting ourselves in a position health wise to hit the road. He'll be a lot better off if he's lighter. It will probably help with his pain too.

He wants me to post the before pictures on the net so family and friends can see his progress.

A good attitude is everything.

Treasure!!

2007-04-21T08:58:00.000-04:00

Wow!!

You have to love a productive day at the thrift shop. The last three or four times I've gone have been great. It's in a very affluent area and the stuff they get is unbelievable. I just got Gene six brand new pairs of shorts. Tags still on. XXL and XL. XL's are for when he looses the weight.

Here's a couple of pictures of my latest haul. Keep in mind that everything in the pictures are brand new with tags.

This is a Teddy for my new niece. It's soft and beautiful colors. It has a price tag on it of 59.99. HA! I got it for 99 cents because there was no thrift store tag on it. Just the retail tag from some flippin' La Petite Shop Snooty.

The floral spread the bear is sitting on is for the MH. Queen size with two shams. 100% cotton. Brand new. 14.99.

Hehehehehe I feel like I stole it.

There are a lot of linens.. ( wash clothes and hand towels ).. They're for the MH as well.

SIGH .......................... I sure wish I knew what the MH looked like!

Soon enough, soon enough.

Here's a link to a web site that will give you information about thrift stores. You find find out whats around your area. Or what's around the area that you will be soon visiting. Great for us Rver's. Thrift Shops

Warning

2007-04-12T23:31:00.000-04:00

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired.
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells.
And run my stick along the public railings.
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain.
And pick flowers in other people's gardens.
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat.
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go.
Or only bread and pickle for a week.
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry.
And pay our rent and not swear in the street.
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph

The week in a nutshell

2007-04-11T00:57:00.000-04:00

Happy !!! Happy !!! Joy !!! Joy!!!

Have you ever seen your kids so happy that you couldn't look away from them? Well I have.
It happened on April 3rd at The Decemberists concert.

We got to the concert. We got to our seats. When we realized we had neither Bond 007 spy glasses or enough nose bleed medicine for 9 people we sneaked down in front.

WAY DOWN IN FRONT.

4 rows from the stage to be exact. The kids were delirious. They yelled, they clapped, they sang. They danced on the stage with the band. Did I mention they were delirious? Here is a link of a short film someone in the audience took of the song they did with everyone on stage. Including my kids. Too much fun.
From left to right is:

John ,Karen ,Tessika ,Haleigh ,and Abby

Other then that it was pretty uneventful as weeks go. I painted the fence and staged the fifth wheel for selling. I have to admit..... The 5er looks pretty damn cute and should sell quickly. I think we'll be buying the motorhome around August sometime. { fingers crossed }

I bought a wicker trunk at the flea market in Raleigh for 20 dollars. It's very sturdy...
The perfect size for a coffee table in an RV. And light too!! Best of both worlds. I think I'll store the bedding for the sleep sofa in it when we get the MH.
Aren't I the optimist? Making plans for something I don't even own yet!
Honestly, something must be wrong with me. I'm already making plans to put in a wood laminate floor and change out the window valances.....
There must be a medication for this kind of obsessiveness.

The First step.

2007-03-17T01:06:00.000-04:00

Here's Gene and the rig. Nice truck huh? Some -day I'll tell you the story about that truck. It's a doozey. ( Is that really a word?)

Anyway.. First things first. Selling the truck. It's on eBay right now. As I type. Nice truck. But it's gotta go.

Take a look at the listing and let me know what you think....

Well the listing has expired but we sold it $5,500. Which was fair. It had some issues...

Like my firey wrath for one thing! Damn I hated that truck.

Only The Beginning.....

2007-03-17T00:42:00.000-04:00

Ok. Here's the deal. I HATED camping. Loathed it. If I couldn't order room service I couldn't be bothered.

That all changed when my daughter was 5. She's 19 now. You do the math. Gene said he wanted to take her camping. I said "If you two are going, I'm going too." Well... It rained all weekend. We were wet. The food was awful. And guess what.........

I LOVED it!! I couldn't get enough. We started to camp with the same group of people around the same time. Every other weekend all spring,summer, and into early fall. I bought books, tents, lanterns, sleeping bags. You name it. I'm sure Gene was sorry he created this monster.

We followed the logical progression of camping evolution. Tents, pop ups, travel trailer, and finally a fifth wheel. Which is what we have now. I love the fifth wheel but we'll be getting rid of that and the truck as we are stepping up to a motorhome. That should be much easier on us . Gene has a very bad back (multiple surgeries) and the hitching and unhitching is getting to be a bit much.

So we're off on an odyssey. Selling what we have. Searching for what we want. And learning what it takes to be fulltimers. It will be a challenge. We're young to be fulltimers. Gene is disabled and I'll work camp. But we'll do it! Too many times I've heard of people waiting to do something like this only to finally get there and have health issues or worse. Never to have realized their dream.

So follow along with us. Maybe you'll learn from our mistakes. Maybe you'll laugh at our foolishness. Or maybe we'll see you on the road...

Time will tell....